sojourner

Someone recently suggested to me that I blog about the fallout of the decisions that Martin and I are currently making -- or is God making them? -- to move to Sweden. I felt a twinge of shame, knowing that I am the laziest blogger out there and my adoring masses have been dying for even the teeniest update from me. (I hope my sarcasm translated.) Martin put it well when he asked me, "Danielle, what is a blog for?" I responded with one of my infamous dirty looks. (At least, I have discovered that they are quite infamous, my dirty looks.)

At any rate, I was challenged to once again take up the keyboard, amidst the organized chaos that is our lives. I feel like every part of my life is in transit. Our apartment is mostly bare with stacks of boxes, and it seems like most days we are packing or sorting or organizing. I only have seven working days left, and have "passed off" most of my projects -- setting my babies free to be pillaged and dessicated by someone else.

I am hopeful, eager, and scared. My deep-down fear is the thing that I can only imagine and have yet to experience -- leaving my familiar and sinking into a life where I have no background, no language, no experience, no capabilities. I have only an inkling of understanding of what Martin went through when he moved here and wasn't able to find the grocery store. I only hope that I will be able to handle this great challenge with the grace and patience that Martin did here in Canada. Soon my understanding of his experience will be quite complete, which I do look forward to. That mutual understanding is something I want out of this experience, that we can know and read each other on a level deeper than before.

Starting a "new" life -- I haven't done this before. Just 100 lbs of luggage each, and that's what we start with. We are indebted to Martin's family -- finding and giving us furniture, working on our little house preparing for our arrival, and doing a million other things. I spend a lot of time imagining our house and trying to picture what we can do in it -- colors to paint, that sort of thing. I get an inordinate amount of gratification from decorating and painting.

I will be try to be more diligent in blogging about this new journey. We leave Calgary on July 19, just eight days after my 26th birthday. I start school on Sept. 19, and that promises to be a whole other adventure.

To Sweden, then.

energy

I am inspired this morning for some unknown reason; I woke before the sun had risen and tossed restlessly until getting up. There is energy in my body and my brain is speeding ahead of everything else. I find myself in this state often these days, like my adrenaline is running and I need to find an outlet for it. Today I am casting a glance around our living room thinking about what I can organize or accomplish this morning. It's a beautiful morning, the sun is already blazing and it's the Easter long weekend. The skyscrapers downtown are glowing  brightly as they do in the sunrise, and I have already seen one of those irritating yuppy joggers flash by. 

Not sure what my racing thoughts are pushing me to do today: organizing something isn't that exciting. I have the urge to work. Not paper-pusher work I normally do, but to break a sweat and accomplish something tangible. (Is this a product of doing a job where so much is intangible? Probably. Humans like to see the results of accomplishment: a ploughed field, a garden growing, a painting painted. I would love to get outside this morning, begin preparing the flower beds for spring, get my hands dirty. It's a wonderful thought to dwell on that soon we will have a place of our own to work and affect with our style and creativity. I love working outside, even mowing the lawn. I have missed that since our landlord decided he didn't want to pay us properly to take care of the building, and we've become complete urbanites while our apartment building has fallen into shambles. Garbage is strewn about, snow isn't shoveled, the yard in disrepair. It's a shame, but a ray of hope for us is the knowledge that soon we won't have to tolerate it!

Guess I should get off my duffer and do something instead of write about it. 

blugger

Desperation is no good. All things wither and fade, or something along those lines. Trying to keep hold of my Mexico tan reminds of how futile it is to hold onto beauty or young age. Normally I don't care too much about skin and creams and such, but I have been slathering on the lotion several times a day in desperate attempt to keep my whole body from peeling off like the Eustace dragon skin in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. And desperation is really quite useless. I feel very lizard-esque.

Seems like I am in a really good spot mentally lately, as if my vacation did wonders. Who knows? All I know is I am coping better with "life". You know -- work hassles, silly people, stress, boredom -- the little stuff isn't getting to me so much. I hardly think about work (or it's drama) once I am hope, I feel cheerier and I have been finding the inspiration to write. I feel as though my creativity is returning, and that's a lovely feeling.

And maybe because we have some secret plans brewing (those who know the secret plans know they are not really secret but just not "public"). They get me nervous and freaked out and energized. They are still just "plans". But suddenly, voila! you have more than a plan.

Now I am just getting plain silly. Anyways... I am trying to occupy myself more. Books, a writing class at the University of Calgary, trying to find a Swedish class that would teach pre-school Swedish to adults. (Not having much luck there -- I have increasing respect for all of the amazing people I know who've learned to speak English.)

PS. As promised, some of my photos of humpback whales in Banderas Bay.

hola

Allow me to complain about how COLD it is. Calgary has schizophrenic weather even at the best of times, but it's been a bit nuts this week. Martin and I left 30 degree temperatures to return to a steadily dropping needle in Calgary. It has now been -30 for a few days now, and with wind chill (for those who don't live here that's the cold north wind) it was nearly -50! Exclamation!

We managed to undergo a 60 degree temperature change in less that 48 hours. I don't know what it's done to our bodies, but it can't be that healthy. I am slathering on moisterizing lotion to keep my beautiful but fleeting Mexican tan, and fighting off the depression by eating key limes and looking at my photos.

We had no idea how badly we needed a vacation, and Mexico was very good to us. We slept and slept, walked the beach, had some amazing experiences with humpback whales (with photos to prove it), did an awesome rainforest canopy tour with zip lines over 400 feet high and 1,000 feet long. I held and fed a monkey for the first time. We went sea kyaking along a beautiful, remote beach, rode the bus 5 hours to Guadalajara and enjoyed Mexico's second largest city. We didn't shop very much or spend too much time with the elderly Speedo clad tourists, and it was a fantastic holiday.

We both had no idea how much mental freedom we would get from it.

Haven't finished working on my photos from the trip, but watch for some shots of the whales when I do. Amazing experience. And Janne, we have some iguana and snake pictures for you.

snow woman

It's just about December and already it feels like Christmas is right around the corner. The snow has fallen thickly on this corner of the Prairies, and it's sticking to around -15 C for the last few days.

The driving has been terrible and last week I was inducted into the club of Stupid People Who Cause Accidents. Yes, my very first "real" car accident, insurance claims, tow trucks, and the embaressment of acknowledging to everyone who asks (and everyone does) that I slid down a hill and hit a parked car two blocks from my home. There were many things that I was grateful for (except the fact I was wearing CareBear pajama pants and cowboy boots) and no one was injured. So it's mostly fine, except it'll cost us. The poor little Civic took a big hit. And yes, I know they say "it's not your fault, otherwise they wouldn't call it an accident". But one can't help but feel a wee bit stupid for hitting a parked car. I am driving very cautiously in my sporty red rental car.

But, hey, it makes life a little spicier. Martin ran like the wind (literally) home from work when he heard, and it's a great feeling to know someone has your back and will care for you in a crunch. (No pun intended.)

Looking out my window with a frosty red rental and snowbanked sidewalks, I could handle no winter right now. We've been discussing getting away from winter, and this week we finally made up our minds: In January there will be another white Canadian and one white Swede taking up some real estate on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I have never had the desire to go to Mexico, but we wanted to go somewhere and didn't want to spend too much, so Mexico it is. I am stoked about it - finally, a "honeymoon" with Mr. Sweden, our first time travelling together instead of off on our own adventures, and a warm, sub-tropical destination. Oh, yes.