whale bones

I am waiting for my chicken noodle soup to heat and trying to avoid thinking of the rumbling grumbling hunger in my belly. Munching on crackers to take the edge off. Sitting on our hideously uncomfortable kitchen chair--Ikea computer desk combination and twisting constantly to stretch away lower back pain. A fine Tuesday midday!

Since summer I have been swept up and driven by things out of my control. Just now I am starting to feel as if I have set down somewhere solid and feeling more "together" and capable. But with things as they are: new things, primal things, emotional things, strange things, maternal things, when I cannot help this strange ancient transformation, when one moment I feel insane and the next so practical.

Now I try to absorb Swedish and prepare for a trip to Calgary next week. I drink tea that leaves a skim on my teeth and contemplate the rich smells of fall -- farm, leaves, wet, and woodsmoke. Listen to music and think about homemade soup.